I got my #10MonthsLater email from General Assembly today, and it was kind of depressing. It read:
It’s 10 months later, and I still want the same things. Simply for the reason that I haven’t made much progress towards my goals. I still beat myself up for falling asleep after reading a couple of pages, or just getting bored and closing the book. I still give up after running half a mile, and then feel so bad about it (or “get preoccupied”) so I don’t keep up a regimen. I have pages of copies and sketches outlining a design for my website, and even hundreds of lines of code, but I keep changing it and cutting pieces. Plus, I’ve only applied to one job and got no response.
The last one really trips me up. My gut instinct to reading it was “I haven’t even come close.” But then I stop and think about the last 10 months. In the last 10 months, I started a new blog about minimalism just for myself, got back into education (which I’ve always heard makes my eyes light up when I talk about it), went on a leave of absence from grad school, and started a new company which very quickly grew out of being a side project. I should feel proud, right?
I’m not sure that I do. I still want the same things, which makes it feel like I didn’t really accomplish any of it. I don’t know if it’s because I want change for the sake of change, have ADD creativity, can’t find satisfaction in my accomplishments, or just haven’t found the right thing. Maybe all of the above?
Even after all of this time in startups, I’m still learning that expectation versus reality doesn’t have to be a dichotomy. Reality doesn’t have to be disparagingly different compared to expectation. They’re just different.
Dear Current Me,
It’s time to achieve your 2013 goals… again.
Really accomplish them. Take pride in accomplishing them.